Differences in the desire for sex, the so-called sexual desire, are the rule rather than the exception in partnerships. Depending on the size of the difference in the desire between the partners, this imbalance has a high potential for dissatisfaction with the partnership, because the sexual The needs of a partner may remain chronically underserved.
Partnership test as a way to help yourself
Therapeutic help is typically not used by the affected partners. By itself, however, the situation worsens over time rather than improving. Psychologists in the Theratalk project at the Institute of Psychology of the University of Göttingen therefore developed a new opportunity for self-help over several years: a partnership test that complements the proven partnership test "Sexual Desires".
Combined, these two partnership tests are an instrument that can be used to find ways to re-create more desire and to better deal with existing differences in pleasure in a simple way, without the involvement of a therapist. With the very detailed partnership test "more pleasure" improvement possibilities can be identified, which can be easily implemented by the partners. For example, it discusses typical behaviors that may or may not be pleasurable, as well as personal hygiene or how to deal with characteristic non-pleasure-related stress factors.
Study on sexual aversion
An accompanying study looked at how often partnerships pose a problem when one of the partners has little or no desire for sex, and how well the partners manage to solve it themselves. The investigation involved 10,372 men and women who had been in partnership for an average of 10 years. The spectrum ranges from freshly enchanted couples to couples who have already passed the golden wedding.
The results of the study
- For 65% of the men and 54% women's unequally distributed desire for sex is a problem, as shown in the following graph:
Unlike distributed lust for sex: 65% of men and 54% of women find it a problem that one of the partners has less desire for sex than the other.
- Partners are generally finding it difficult to deal with this problem: 87% of men and women who call unequally distributed lust as a problem are not satisfied with the way the partnership handles it.
- These figures show that it matters little that men are more likely (75%) than women (31%) to be sexier. The dissatisfaction hits both partners equally.
Unequally distributed sexual desire, according to the available results, is a very common problem in partnerships. More than every other partnership is affected and in most cases the problem can not be solved satisfactorily by the unaided partners.