They belong to the perennial favorites of our media landscape and reach an audience of millions in barely surpassing openness: the countless reports, talks and presentations about love, lust and sex. What often sounds so simple in the media, leads in many couples to quarrels and dissatisfaction, because in women, the desire is not always when the partner just feels like to togetherness - but lack of love is usually not the cause. Is the idea of love = sex an equation with many unknowns and female pleasure unpredictable?
Love = lust a myth
Even if a woman loves a man, that does not mean that she always feels like having sex with him. Headaches, migraines, or the wash day were once excuses for our great-grandmothers to refuse.
Today, most women feel that the cycle with its hormonal fluctuations affects mood and well-being. Superficially, this means: desire for ovulation, displeasure before the rule. How can this be explained?
How the cycle affects female pleasure
In the course of the first two weeks of the cycle, an ovarian fluid matures in the ovary. During this time, the estrogen level increases tenfold. Estrogens are responsible for the good mood, verve and well-being. At the middle of the cycle the egg bursts out of its vesicle, is released and migrates through the fallopian tube towards the uterus. The so-called yellow body arises from the decaying shell of the vesicle. It forms the yellow-body hormone progesterone. If the egg is not fertilized, the yellow body forms back, the hormone production breaks down and it comes to the menstrual period.
The corpus luteum hormone is an antagonist of estrogens. It works in most women soothing, sleep-inducing and anxiolytic. When estrogens and corpus luteum hormones fall off at the menstruation, hormone withdrawal symptoms are spoken of. These are characterized among other things by depressive moods, tension and irritability, there is no talk of lust for sex.
At this stage, many women suffer from headaches and migraines and are prone to food cravings. If the next follicle then matures and estrogens are re-formed, these symptoms disappear.
Around ovulation, the desire for sex is probably greatest due to the action of male hormones.
How do the male hormones work?
Clock for the sexual desire of the woman are also the male hormones (androgens). They even outweigh the effects of estrogens. These are testosterone and DHEA / -S (dehydroepiandrosterone / sulfate). Testosterone is produced in the ovaries, the adrenal cortex and in other organs, for example in adipose tissue. DHEA / -S is formed almost exclusively in the adrenal cortex and partly rebuilt from the organism to testosterone. At the time of ovulation, this increases in the short term by about 30%.
What the male hormones in women and what they are needed for a long time was unclear. Even if there is no clear "androgen deficiency syndrome", certain signs are closely related to a deficiency in male hormones. These include:
- sexual listlessness
- Tiredness without apparent cause
- Reduction of well-being
- Decrease in pubic hair
- Regression of the musculature
At present, intensive research is being conducted on the development of preparations intended to compensate for "androgen deficiency".
If frustration prevails instead of pleasure
Sexual issues are not uncommon and many couples still find it hard to talk about sex. Obviously, inhibitions due to shame or fear of rejection exist in exchanging views about what and when they feel like it and when they do not.
Sexual aversion, pain during sex, orgasm problems and difficulties with sexual excitability are not just problems of older menopausal women. Younger women are just as affected and they rarely speak openly about their problems.
The initiative "female affairs" wants to help bring the conversation about sex out of the taboo zone. Prof. Dr. Elisabeth Merkle, gynecologist in Bad Reichenhall: "Our team of experts wants to close knowledge gaps and improve education".
Recognize stumbling blocks
"The persistent myth still holds true: when man and woman love each other, sex is also right." This common misconception wipes physical and psychological obstacles without further ado, stirs up feelings of insecurity and feelings of inferiority.
Not only the lack of knowledge that hormones set the pace, but also everyday stress, household and work, parenting, unemployment and livelihood concerns and the fear of an unwanted pregnancy often ruin the desire for sex.
Moreover, according to new findings women with diabetes, metabolic syndrome and smokers often suffer from lack of libido. Even a possible bladder weakness should not be underestimated.
Especially when certain lust norms want to dictate the partnership desire, what is normal and what is not, loses the desire for sex their individuality. Then, voluntariness and spontaneity become a must or a pleasure dictation, and the problems of love and lust are hardened by resignation and speechlessness.
Get advice from the gynecologist
The professional association of gynecologists advises to jump over their own shadow and pronounce the individual problems. Gynecologists are prepared to provide solutions for women and their partners in sexual matters.